Not Hot: Britney Spears' Comback

By now we've all seen the bootleg videos of Britney Spears' three comeback performances, and by now we've all decided that this, or this, or this, is never going to replace the memories seared in our brains of that, or that, and especially that (all SFW). Needless to say that it didn't help boost her street cred as a signer when People reported that she was chewing gum while performing at the second show.

The blatant lip-syncing reminds me of when I went to a Britney concert in Portland five years ago (the girl with tickets was hot. Trust me, it was worth it). At some point in the show the CD started to skip and the lights immediately went out and Britney ran off stage. It was amazing to realize that EVERYONE on stage was faking it, even the band! Can you imagine going to the tryouts for Britney Spears' backup band and not getting the part, not because you couldn't play the synthesizer, but because you didn't look like someone that played the synthesizer? Amazing.

It's interesting to see the career arcs of the big three prostitutessolo female pop singers of the last decade: Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and Jessica Simpson. It's a lesson in marketing. All three started very innocently (see here and here and here) targeting the teenage girl market. But each had to decide how to Cross the Chasm into mainstream stardom. You're young, talented and beautiful. You have a stranglehold on the teenage girls and their mothers, but how do you attract more fans? The answer: slutification!

The question then became, how quickly? Think about Christina's move from "Genie in a Bottle" to "Dirty," or Britney's "Hit Me Baby, One More Time" to "Toxic." By cutting the back out of their chaps or wearing nude body suits, Christina and Britney were in a race to win over older populations of potential fans. That was a problem because the new people who were paying attention to them were looking for soft porn, not albums or concert tickets. The focus went away from music and talent and that spelled doom for both of them. This is evident in Christina's horrible string of unpopular songs and recent repackaging as a vintage singer (which was a great move that highlights her best asset: her voice), and Britney's absolute melt-down (which was a bad move that highlights her worst asset: her psycho-ness).

Amazingly, Jessica comes out as the smartest of the three. I don't believe it was her Christian background that kept her from going slutty (I've never seen a family of born-agains sell out so quickly to the bright lights and big money of Hollywood. Remember early on when Jessica's dad used to give reporters the "thanks be to Jesus" talk? Now he's rockin' the earring and is two years away from confessing either an affair or a drug addiction. Mark my words.). I think that family knew to differentiate themselves from the other two, lay low while they race to the gutter and then step out and become America's idol. By building up a constant brand, Jessica was then able to come out with a crappy album or two (go on, name one) and star in several low-grossing movies (go on, name one) and still be popular.

UPDATE: Great Britney Spears Site